The S word

Just last week, a friend and I had a mini tiff because we both did not understand what the other meant by the word "sexy." While my friend was going on about how fun and exciting it was to be "sexy," I got especially concerned and said maybe it's best to tone down "sexy" because it's one surefire way of making people forget you're more than just a pair of legs (or whatever else you have). It turns out that all she meant by sexy was make-up and heels--and basically looking pleasant, attractive and approachable--while there I was worrying that, living amidst this mumbo jumbo of media-propagated beauty culture, my dear friend has become sort of numb.

I honestly don't like using the word "sexy" because it is too overused in media that it's become "diluted." You know what I mean: you see a person with celebrity wearing something very stylish and elegant and they call her sexy; then in the next page, a not-so-well-sheathed actress is described with the same word used as a praise, too. What, is "sexy" some sort of catch-all term that means "I don't have any other word to use so here's one I'd like to throw and hopefully you'd all think I gave a compliment"?

I'm like this with words, so please forgive me. I looked up sexy in the dictionary and this is what I learned:

sexy–adjective, sex·i·er, sex·i·est.
1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.

Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada

Sexy is probably overused for it's third meaning because it's much easier to say Anne Hathaway's green coat is sexy than Anne Hathaway's green coat is excitingly appealing. (Besides, if we're going to be all grammatical about it, I may as well point out that: a. "sexy" referring to any item or article of clothing means number 3; b. referring to a person means number 2; and c. referring to an attitude or being, number 1.)

If we just consider meaning number 3, then there really is nothing wrong with sexy--I mean, what's wrong with being glamorous? We all want to be glamorous! and beautiful! and elegant!

The problem, then, lies in the other meanings attached to the S word. Number 2 entails "radiating sexuality," which means putting sexuality above personhood. Some may argue that if you're a woman, you can't help looking like a woman--but of course! I'm not saying we should all dress androgynously. The fact is: there's "ladylike" and then there's dangling one's sexuality for all to see. (At best, the latter just makes you attractive to the opposite sex; at worst, it takes the liberty to scream "Look at me! I'm sexually available!" for you.)

And number 1, of course, is just plain tasteless.